What an Emotional Week So Far!

It is hard to believe that I am 18 1/2 weeks pregnant. It doesn't seem real to me but in the same sense it does. I think after five miscariages I have learned defense mechanisms. It is hard to not believe anymore because it is apparent their is something kicking me lately and it is not my husband while we are sleeping. Peanut has been very active the last couple of days and whenever I have a moment where I think there is something wrong he/she will wiggle and kick. What an incredible blessing! You would think that this is my first pregnancy! I cry over everything! The baby hiccuped for the first time yesterday and I got teary eyed because it will not be the last time he will hiccup. Soon he will hiccup air and have an absolutely adorable sound while he/she will be doing it. I cry when I read on a website I frequent, that he/she is 6 inches long, is starting grow hair and is swallowing. I think of all the pavement he/she's little legs will travel and what kinds of foods he/she will be swallowing. The funniest yet was today my friend Cathy came over and brought the baby swing I was buying from her and I looked at it in my living room and got teary eyed just imagining a small little baby rocking in that swing and I couldn't imagine that I could have third different personality in my children. Every little step feels new and I cannot wait to stop calling peanut he/she. I am excited for my ultrasound but a little anxious about the health of the baby. I have to put that aside and remember to trust. I am grateful for the opportunity God has given me to have a feeling of innocence of pregnancy instead of constant worry....which I could have easily done. I am grateful that after all we have been through he has blessed us abundantly over and over.